I wish I could tell you how many times in the past 6 months I’ve sat down and started a post only to trash it mid-sentence. But I can’t. It’s far too many to track at this point. There are days I barely make it past the login screen before I give up. I have so very much I want to say and yet I have struggled for months to find the right words to express my thoughts in some sort of coherent fashion that others would care to read or find value in. It doesn’t take long before I’ve convinced myself posting my thoughts would be detrimental and people might actually discover my deepest, darkest secret.
Because quite frankly I’m tired of carrying this secret. I’m tired of pretending I’m something I’m not. I’m tired of hiding. I’m just TIRED.
So, I’m typing as fast as I can with all intentions of hitting publish before I chicken out. And I’m going to just come right out and share my secret.
Are you ready?
Here it is….
I’M NOT PERFECT
Shocker, I know.
See, the truth is, I’m willing to bet you already knew that. I’m willing to bet that not once did it ever cross your mind that I was even close to perfect. And yet…. I’ve spent most of my life, like so many others, trying to convince everyone I was.
How could I possibly be vulnerable and share my fears with you? How could I possibly tell you that I’ve missed that many workouts? How could I possibly tell you that some Sundays I choose my bed over church? How could I possibly tell you that I ate chocolate cookies for dinner and washed them down with liquor? How could I possibly tell you that I yelled at my kids over nothing? How could I tell you that I read the Bible but still struggle with a cursing habit? Or that I’m struggling to grow my business? Or that some days depression still gets the best of me? How could I possibly be so real? Wouldn’t that mean I’m a failure? Wouldn’t that mean I’m a horrible Christian, health coach, friend, entrepreneur, blogger, mother, wife, woman??
Friends, there is beauty in being real. There is healing in being vulnerable. Yes, it’s scary. Yes, it can be uncomfortable. But good God almighty, it can be liberating. This whole game of trying to pretend we have it all together for our friends, for our family, for social media – it’s exhausting. And a complete waste of your time and energy.
Because those who have any clue in life, don’t believe you anyway.
And the ones who haven’t figured it out yet? They hate you. Because you’ve set a standard for them they know they can never reach and yet they will kill themselves trying until one day they too discover it was all a lie.
So here’s my thoughts. What if we stop chasing perfection and start chasing real? What if we embrace the vulnerability of being who we really are instead of who we want the world to believe we are? What if instead of trying to convince the world we never fall, we lock arms with the world and say hey, it can get slippery through here but I got you? What if instead of pretending we are always happy, we say hey, this season of my life is kind of dark and bumpy, could you bring me a light? When I get through this season, I’ll bring you what you need?
WHAT IF we accepted our imperfections as being human? Then maybe, just maybe, we would realize that being imperfect is actually PERFECT.